Ten Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

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I know this one's old but I like this poem. I can relate with this. It's difficult when you like someone. You try your hardest to find the faults in him just to block that confusing feeling. However, in the end you just realize that those things that you hate about him are the very things that you like about him. Despite all the pain that he brings you, it's still those things that makes you fall over and over again.

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Despite the hurt deep within
It’s still his smile I have seen

Yes, you still have that effect on me. I'm hurting deep within and yet I can't tell you how much it hurts. It pains me to listen to you talk about her. I hear the excitement in your voice when you mention her name. I see the gleam in your eyes and that hidden smile when you come face to face with her.

But why me? Why do this to me? Do you know that you are making things difficult for me? I'm trying my very best to let you go... but then when I think that I'm ready to do it you'd just make my resolve just crumble away. You wrap your arms around me and say sweet nothings. You cuddle up close to me and hold me as if it's just natural thing to do.

I know that you care for me, that you love me. I wonder if you really see me though. Yes, you love me... yes you do...the kind of love a brother would give to a sister... the kind of love a best friend would give.

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Hitting the Books

I started reviewing for the board exams (to think that it's kinda early to do that... hehe) this week. Call me weird for hitting the books instead of the oh so inviting waves at the beach but hey I just have to. I have been busying myself getting copies of books that I think I will need for the next months... yeah it's quite a long review which would start last week of May til I take the exam on November. You're thinking torture right? Yeah me, too. haha

Oh well... gotta get back to reading my favorite book... Electronic Communications Systems: Fundamentals Through Advanced by my favorite author Wayne Tomasi.

I'm such a nerd...haha

The Phone Call

Sean: Hi Nicki! How have you been?

Nicki: Fine, just fine. Missed me?

Sean: (laughs) Sure did. What have you been up to?

Nicki: Nothing much… so when did you arrive?

Sean: Just yesterday. However, I have to get back there today.

Nicki: Oh, is that so? So when are you comin’ back?

Sean: Maybe this Saturday… not so sure.

Nicki: Ok… (smiles to herself) The gang’s planning to have a get-together.

Sean: Really? Just tell me where and maybe I can come or something. (laughs). Oh yeah. Maybe the band’s pushing through with the event this May.

Nicki: Oh… but I think I can’t join you guys. I haven’t been contributing much.

Sean: Me too. I talked to Sam the other day and she said that maybe the old members would not join.

Nicki: Ah… okay… wait… you talked with whom? Samantha?

Sean: Uhhh… (uneasy)

Nicki: (laughs) Who was it? Samantha?

Sean: Uhhh… why are you laughing? (laughs too)

Nicki: Wait… wait… is there something going on that I don’t know? hmmm

Sean: Uhhh… yeah… you know?

Nicki: What Sean? I don’t know?

Sean: You know?

Nicki: You like her?

Sean: Uhm-hum… Oh man! (laughs) Just ask Mandy ‘bout it. She knows…(laughs)

Nicki: Oh… (laughs uncomfortably)… Gotta go now…

Sean: Ok… you, take care.

Nicki: Yeah… you too…

Sean: Bye.

Nicki: (hangs up) yeah…goodbye…(and tears start to roll down her cheeks)

Love and Friendship

It’s perfectly clear to me
That him loving me would never be
There was just friendship left to offer
But I didn’t accept it and chose to suffer

Each night I tossed and turned
With strained tears my eyes burned
With my heart broken and torn
There I was all alone

I made myself believe that I was alright
That I should not be so uptight
But then I was drowning inside
And it just couldn’t be set aside

I wanted to let it all out
What the pain and the tears are all about
I wanted him to know
That all of it was not for show

What I felt for him was real
That for no one else I could possibly feel
That I tried to forget him
But yet how difficult it seemed

My love for him is so strong
That still in him I found no wrong
Despite the hurt deep within
It’s still his smile I have seen

Now tell me if this is wrong
To keep this love burning for so long
Isn’t it just the way that’s right
To stand for my love and fight?

But then he never saw it that way
And I was helpless with nothing left to say
I miss him so fierce
That I could cry a million tears

I decided to accept defeat
Thinking that our hearts would never meet
Maybe indeed we’re destined to be friends
And now I hope with this the pain ends.