It’s funny how I can pretend to be emotionally strong and happy in front of everyone when in fact I’m still struggling, still fighting the pain. I said I’d move on. I even put a date on it. I guess you were right. It just doesn’t work that way. I’m not yet ready. I’m just lying to myself, telling myself over and over that everything would be alright. Until I believe in it and eventually it would happen.
I can feel the weight of it now that I’m alone. It scares me that the day might come when I’d give in to it. I’m afraid that I’d still commit the same mistakes. I’m afraid that I’d make the same decisions and get hurt all over again. Stupid isn’t it?
I’m still fighting… still searching for the answers to the many questions that continue to bother me.
One day…
Someday…
